Proud Mary

Ears foster memories as if by motherly instinct.

Remember that age?

It had to be a chubby-cheeked decade of earthy feet and belly tickles,

moving back and forth between creators,

Sunday morning CCD class taught me how a father is more than one face,

So I prayed to the others, knees on a rental’s carpet, fingers to fingers:

Oh, God!

The past cannot decide whether to stay buried or return in nostalgic whiffs:

good times smell like lavender and salty air 

bad, of cigar smoke and vodka stains

Oh, God!

I cling to the yellow of yesterday like the newborn I once was

held gently onto the ears of a sun-colored stuffed bear

Her name is Summer!

I declared and we learned to move 

back and forth like the waves,

sounds, much like smells, carry dates like bottled milk.

It is 2008 again

and I am dialing your cell phone number I memorized 

like a vocabulary word for the literature test,

9, as in my favorite number…

We remember through remembering something else.

Oh, God!

I can still hear the song that reached through the New Jersey night

wrapping its arms around me as if you were there to do it yourself.

Sleepless pillows in a neighborhood where every brick mimics the other.

Tears knew those walls my sister and I painted mismatched colors.

But that song—how it still reaches for me when it plays,

in a bar,

in traffic,

at the coffee shop…

Proud Mary keep on burning/rolling, rolling, rolling on the river

Tina Turner sang to me every other weekend,

before your voice met my ears,

reminding me that 

I will be home soon.

Just a few more sleeps,

just a few more high notes.

eternally twenty-nine

blue spotted journal